ISAACS FAMILY NEWSLETTER   First light of Chanuka, December 23, 2019

Do you ever wake up bursting with energy and the firm resolution to do all the things you have been wanting to do but puting off for ages?  No? Me neither. That’s why I have no idea of what drove me, after all these years of being a newsletter recluse, to start writing. Perhaps Chanuka and the can-do spirit of the heroic Maccabees is resonating down the ages through my DNA. Or perhaps it’s  the fact that my company, which is based in California, has gone into hibernation for the “holidays” until after New Year hangovers wear off.

So what’s new since the last Isaacs Elkana family update? Quite a lot. I think last time I wrote Bibi had a stable government and the term “Brexit” had not yet been coined.

When it rains it pours

Two lessons I have learnt, at a price. Ridiculous illogical statements expressed in ancient adages and through the mouths of wives have an uncanny and unsettling way of proving themselves right and making me look like an idiot. I say this in the context of the downpour of simchas that the good L-rd has blessed us with. In just 17 months, 50% of our gang has “tied the knot” / “jumped the broom” / “walked down the aisle” – say it as you wish. First Orly and Chen, then Naphtali and Adi, and in less than two weeks, Elon and Leetal.

I am in denial about the imminence of Elon and Leetal’s wedding. I have not yet sorted out my wardrobe or divrei torah. You see the wedding is on January 3^rd and that means it is happening “next year”.  Next year! That’s ages from now. Tons of time to prepare.

Rain is a blessing but perhaps, as parents, we can suggest to the as yet unhitched children to wait a bit before delivering more such good news to us. At least till “next year”.

Never mix Politics and Pleasure

On  January 2^nd 1994, the third Isaacs family newsletter ever written opened with sentimental news of baby Naphtali. I quote: “Naftali is now T plus 15 months and still a darling… Naftali is at that endearing stage when his parents claim he has six or seven words, but no other human being can decipher them”. At the time we only had three kids, so, after running out of things to say, and in order to fill up two single-spaced hand-typed pages, I committed the carnal sin of talking politics. Reactions were swift to follow. Mainly, “Stop SPAMing me”.

At risk of losing readers, I just want to give a shout-out to HKBH for manipulating the cosmos in such a way that Brexit came in time to save the Jews of Britain from a fate worse than Boris. A Chanukean miracle, rather like Maccabi Tel Aviv’s sensational fourth quarter comeback victory last week over their Greek foe Panathinaikos.

I only mention this because our eldest, Ari, is still living in the UK. If you are going to sojourn somewhere, London is as good a place as any. But sojourning has an expiration date. Judy is launching a campaign to “Bring Ari Home” and rather fancied a Corbyn victory might have nudged him in the right direction.

Ari continues to promote his start-up. I remind all readers involved in the construction business, if you don’t buy his software you are throwing away tons of money for no reason whatsoever. Imbeciles.

Drum roll…Introducing Leetal and Elon!!!

Leetal, who will become our daughter-in-law “next year” is lovely. Lovely Leetal. Leetal has been part of the family for ages already but has special deep ties with her future in-laws (“future” as in “next year”) since she plays basketball with Judy and works at Amdocs with me (and 25,000 other people).  

Elon is doing a lot more than just getting married. Since the summer he has re-focused his business from primarily selling to performing. Typically, he has several shows a day. I think his record is seven. Mainly in schools, kindergartens and birthday parties but he also teaches magic classes (“chugim”) and recently performed for some children “on the spectrum” where his show created phenomenal engagement and joy. Elon never ceases to amaze me with new tricks. For the life of me, I can’t work out how on earth he does them.

Start-up Naphtalation

Naphtali has the start-up bug. He  runs a team of programmers, rides an electronic scooter to office, works for 15 hours a day and, as you might expect, has no respect for Work-Life Balance. A true startup-ist. His company is growing and making impressive sales. Motivations for devoting yourself to start-ups are normally a desire for wealth, fame and success. I might be wrong but I think Naphtali just loves the programming.

I have my eye on the girl next door

Orly and husband Chen have rented a wee apartment just a few minutes away in Elkana. Orly is living my dream. She is working in the closest place possible to home - as a programmer at a hi-tech company located in the Rosh Ha’Ayin industrial park. Chen is a Quality Engineer in a place that is close in terms of distance but distant in terms of time. He leaves the house at 5.45 each  morning so that his commute takes 20 minutes and not 90.

I am forced to confess that it is a joy having a married daughter living so close to home. Beneath this gruff, stiff-upper-lip, heartless exterior of mine, there must be a soft heart and a strong  mother-hen instinct.

Sssshhhh Abigail

I am about to fulfill (again) another father’s dream. Ask me what Abigail is doing for her national service? Go on!  Well since you insist, I will tell you: I don’t know. It’s confidential.  Isn’t that cool? I love it! Every self-respecting Israeli has access to undivulgeable secret information. However, to my eternal shame, I am not a “self-respecting Israeli”. The most confidential info I ever had access to in the army was the dosage for morphine. Such a disappointment to my parents. But now several of my children have done stuff they can’t talk about. It makes me so proud.

Last year, Abigail worked her brain to the cranium finishing school with an unreal matriculation average. I would love to tell what it was but she would never forgive me. That wouldn’t bother me all that much. Just another fatherly sin to add to the pile of things children never forgive fathers for. But my arch-editor Judy would censor it.

Oo! Ah! mee ze ba? Rosh Hamemshala haba!

Uncle David predicted many years ago that Elisheva would one day be prime minister. Certainly, most voters today would prefer Elisheva to the current alternatives…but I am not getting drawn into politics again. Elisheva has opinions, personality, goals and a way of getting things done. She also has brains. If all goes well, at the end of this year she will complete 5-point maths matriculation (equivalent to A-level) at the end of 10^th grade (two years early). This is no easy task. She studies endlessly, emerging from her room only for exercise classes, dance classes and to reward herself at the end of a long day by bingeing on episodes of Friends. During holidays she is a madricha in “mashatzim” – which is a youth movement that educates children about tiyulim and nature (or something like that). On Shabbat she is a madricha of “Oz” (which is Bnei Akiva for tiny tots), and still finds time for a social life that makes Hollywood look like a drag.

In recent months Elisheva has lost over 12 kilos and looks fantastic, as you will see, PG,  in the wedding photos. Our one concern; when she is 30, will Bibi still be in power?

 

Happy Chanuka from Judy, Michael and all the Isaacs crowd, half of whom still live in Elkana