August 2008

In the Isaacs abode, erev Shabbat is Thursday night. Shopping, cooking and (sometimes) cleaning are completed by midnight and, exhausted, we laze in front of a midnight movie, wolfing down Shabbat chicken, rice and kugel, piping hot straight from the oven. Where do we find a midnight move? Thus begins the story of this summer.

We are proud not to have cable TV. Some five years ago we exorcised this evil from our midst, and with this single act increased hours slept per person per night, reduced bickering, and started getting the kids to school on time (more or less).

Judy and I have conflicting versions of the cable TV story. She claims it was my idea to get cable TV, just for the summer, to watch the Olympics. I recall it being Judy’s idea to get cable TV, just for the summer, to reward the children for their excellent exam results.

In either case, with cable TV – of which we strongly disapprove - we can now sit down, on Thursday nights, after an arduous week’s work and a hot evening’s cooking, to a midnight movie. But to be absolutely honest with you, it’s not solely on Thursdays that we have been known to watch the midnight movie. And some of us have seen the movie before the midnight movie (as well as the one after, on the odd occasion). And although cable TV is lousy – we are all agreed on that - there is always at least one film on worth watching. And frequently you can find a good game of basketball or football or baseball or golf or darts. And the Olympics are on three channels simultaneously, which does give you “zapability”, which you don’t have with just Israel’s Channel 1. Let’s just say that we’re getting good mileage out of our 200 shekel cable TV subscription. Until September 1. But then it goes. And that’s final. Because as we all know, cable TV is absolutely lousy.

After our late Thursday nights, our Friday morning agenda starts around mid-day (by which time I have been to Jerusalem and back to visit my Mother), when the children traipse tired and hungry out of their beds. We invariably drive to Barbara’s for some grub, and a swim (and a run on the beach for me). Today, the 7th of Av, swimming is forbidden so we have stayed at home. Thrown off routine, eight Isaacs’s wander the house, like beached Galapagos turtles, whiling away the languid hours till the last-minute pre-shabbat panic. Judy, whose boosts of energy seem to coincide with my bouts of laziness, is painting the garden furniture, with Orly’s help and Elisheva’s interference. Ari, home from the army for Shabbat, has his head in Wikipedia and Youtube. Elon, on the ICQ, chats to exotic-looking friends, whom I hope will remain in the world of virtual reality. Abigail plays Snap. Naphtali sleeps. Until you hear Naphtali’s morning drum roll, he ain’t awake. And Michael, writes a newsletter.

Elisheva (3) is forever plastered - not with alcohol or construction materials, but with band-aids. She is not accident prone; she is accident-seeking. Every slip, trip or tumble is an opportunity for her to bandage arms and legs with band-aids of all shapes, sizes and colours. The imagined scratches and scrapes are instantly healed by the magical power of the band-aids - especially the ones with pictures of Dora the Explorer.

Ari (20) just started tank commander’s course, from which he will graduate, all being well, in three months. A wonderful son, he calls home every night when he goes off duty, which is often after 1am, just to tell us all is well and he loves us. This fills us with such joy and gratitude that when he comes home for Shabbat lugging a greasy, smelly, sweaty sack of stinking clothes, and underwear fit only for incineration, we wash, dry, iron and fold his clothes with love and devotion.

One night when Ari called particularly late – it was after 2am – he informed me, as I grunted a drowsy and wholly unaffectionate recognition of the caller: “I know you prefer me to wake you up at any time of night, rather than not call at all”. I confessed he was right, but only the next morning.

After achieving excellent bagrut results Elon (just 18) planned a lengthy break from any activity that even vaguely resembled study. His plans were rapidly dashed when his brothers bought him a Rubik’s cube for his birthday, which has not left his side for two weeks. Next month Elon starts the pre-military academy in Maale Ephraim. Of the dozens of these academies around the country why did Elon choose this one? Well, it has a basketball pitch, a gym, a table-tennis table and access to a swimming pool. So what else matters?

I always dry up when it comes to Abigail (6). She rarely does anything naughty (and therefore interesting) to report. However, she recently came to the (accurate) understanding that her father’s soul needs saved - urgently. This is to be achieved by chalking up extra mitzvot for me, specifically kissing mezuzot. Please understand. I am not opposed to kissing mezuzot; I am not ashamed to say that I have kissed quite a few mezuzot in my time. And some of them were pretty hot. But I never developed the habit of kissing every single mezuzah whose lintel I crossed. Abigail is out to fix this. As I pass each threshold she half-reminds half-reprimands: “Daddy. Did you kiss the mezuzah?”.

Naphtali (15), our long-haired musician (Elon is also long-haired; just not musical), has had a fun summer so far with a few days in Eilat, some bicycling trips, some Bnei Akiva commitments and late-night or all-night hanging out with friends. Naphtali is the only one in the household without ten thumbs. I don’t even try fixing anything alone any more. I wait for Naphtali to do it and stand supportive at his side making insightful comments about hammer-holding techniques and the like to make it sound as if I know what the hell I’m talking about, while he gets on with the job. Everything that is going to break in the next six months, must do so in the next three weeks, before Naphtali returns to school.

Orly (14) is often bored. Why? Because no one wants to play with her. Why? Because she is the hands-down, undisputed, undefeatable champion and Queen of Set. Do you know the game “Set”? If not, you should. It’s a fast-flowing card game which tests your numerical, spatial and taxonomial cognitive skills. The aim is to be first to identify sets of three from 12 cards laid on the table. Each card has four characteristics – colour, shape, texture and number. A set consists of three cards that have either all common or all different characteristics. Clear? If not, buy the game. It’s just a pack of cards. Great for all ages, 3 (yes, even Elisheva plays, sort of) to 44. A typical score against Orly - Daddy 2: Orly 18. The others don’t fare much better. Now see why no one wants to play with Orly?

I’d love to tell you more about our summer holidays with the Mellicks and Eitans and about Judy’s summer dieting and walking, but two pages is as much as I can ask of you to read at a time. So till next time.

Lots of love from Michael, Judy, Ari, Elon, Naphtali, Orly, Abigail and Elisheva Isaacs (Elkana).